My friends came up with this answer and parody to the insurance company “PSA” that Will Ferrell just released (watch the original first if you haven’t already seen it).
Please spread the word on this, this is an excellent retort – and hilarious!
Archive for September, 2009
Mom: “Have you visited the new office yet?”
Me: “Yes.”
Mom: “What floor are you on?”
Me: “The fourth.”
Mom: “Well that’s good… if you have to jump out in a fire it’s not that far.”
Me: Laughing to myself and typing down the conversation…
Mom: “Wow, your typewriter is so loud!”
Me: “It’s a computer, Mom. Hold on, Harmony’s on the other line…”
Switch over to my sister’s call.
Harmony: “Hey, my cell’s about to die… ”
Me: “Okay, I’m leaving work now. Meet you soon.”
Harmony: “Just in case, our re-spawn point is at that church Mary got married in.”
My family cracks me up. My mom thinks I use a typewriter at work, and my little sister describes meeting points like we’re in Halo 3.
Everyone knows I think government spending is (and has been for a long time) out of control. I’ve been going to rallies, “Tea Parties” and protests, but I find people don’t understand what these protests are about. What good is a protest if there’s no clear message? So I have a message to send to those involved for the wrong reasons: GET OUT.
To all the people who hate our democratically elected president because he’s black: please take a long walk off a short pier. Fiscal conservatives don’t need you around making us look mean and dumb all in one fell swoop. Please don’t give Jimmy Carter fodder, because for every hundred or thousand people who are concerned about fiscal policy or growing government control of our lives, there’s going to be a smattering of you around with an offensive sign. Oh, and guess who’s going to end up on the local evening news? Idiots. That’s right, idiots. From Kanye West to Ann Coulter, the media has figured out that the biggest jerk gets the most airtime and thus the most attention and money. LaRouche folks, please stop, have you ever heard of Godwin’s Law? Bush is not Hitler, Obama is not Hitler – calling someone Hitler simply makes people want to punch you in the throat! It’s not helping your cause, and it’s hurting ours. Once you start making personal attacks instead of talking about facts, you lose.
To all the social conservatives with their giant signs of aborted babies or Bible verses: when did you not get the memo? Libertarians, fiscally conservative democrats, objectivists, republicans, and independents cannot accomplish any sort of unified stand if you keep harping on issues they can’t get behind! The message is a fiscal one. Stick to the message. If you want to harp on how much you hate gay people, go start your own damned rally.
To all the Republicans who didn’t start getting pissed off until January 2009: you deserve to be called hypocrites! Admit you were wrong, and move on, but learn. Next time “one of your own” starts expanding government and our deficit, stick to your guns and call them on it! People see us as hypocrites because we didn’t hit the tipping point nearly as early as we should have – frankly, any Republican that supported the bailout or the Patriot Act should be run out of town. And we all should have been knocking on doors and ringing phones before Obama took office – Obama’s only continuing and expanding on things Bush started, and McCain would have probably done the same. An “R” after your name should not give you a free pass, if we had started earlier no one would be saying the whole point of the tea party movement is racism now.
Let’s be consistent. I’m tired of other people telling me what I’m angry about. I want to get my voice out about fiscal policy and government intrusion. With the economic trouble we’re going through, we don’t have time to focus on everyone’s pet issues (legitimate or not). We need to look at what we’re doing, what worked in history, what didn’t, and really think about where we’re sending this country financially. If we were a household, we won’t be arguing about increasing allowances when were about to lose the family home.
Sigh.
Oh, and while I’m at it: media, stop acting like a bunch of 14 year old boys and calling people “teabaggers” with a smug smirk upon your face. They are protesters. You wouldn’t call the original people who took part in the Boston Tea Party “teabaggers,” and most of these people wouldn’t refer to themselves as such, unless they do not understand the implications. Grow up.
